A Cheesy Slice, a Cold Beer, and a Little Casual Robbery

It’s Friday night in the ‘Wood.

I feel like a good slice of pizza and a beer, and I feel like walking.

Off to Fifth Quarter to meet a few friends, drink a pint or maybe two, and not get robbed…

Life’s a funny thing when you find you have to add little disclaimers like that.

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Life is a little different in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia…

I’m walking through Addis one night. Our volunteer group has just been through a long and rigorous bout of language, technical, and cultural training, and a few of us felt like a good slice of pizza and a beer, and we felt like walking.

Off to 2T Pizza to drink a luke warm St George’s or maybe two, and…

Out of nowhere a guy runs up toward me, but immediately slows to match my pace as he catches up to me.

This is not unusual.

Sometimes people do this just because they want to stare at the ferenji (foreigner) for as long as possible.

Sometimes people do this because they don’t want to miss a chance to ask you for money.

Sometimes it’s more casual than all that.

And so it was this guy casually spit on me, like, "Oh, oops, I didn’t see you there as I ran full speed to get right next to you."

I don’t know why the next three minutes of my life went like this, but I’m glad it did, because I couldn’t have asked for it to go better than this.

I looked at the guy, asked, “Is that how you do it around here? Most Ethiopians are more polite than that.” I grabbed the sleeve of the jacket that he was carrying and used it to wipe the spit off of my pants.

He stepped in front of me, placed his hands on my chest to stop me, and began pouring his apologies upon me, while his hands frisked me everywhere but where he had spit.

In my mind I knew exactly what was happening. I knew he was picking my pocket. I knew because firstly, he was doing it exactly the way we were told an Addis pickpocket might do it - this guy was textbook - and secondly, I could feel his hand in my pocket grabbing my meager wad of cash.

When he finished apologizing for spitting on me, he backed away, with my money in his hand, not quite hidden under the aforementioned jacket. I quickly snatched it back, and said, “Give me my f--kin’ money… a--hole,” and walked on. He looked at me like, “Damn, that YouTube video made pickpocketing seem so much easier”.

The street crime in Ethiopia, like so many things in this country, is something that everyone likes to boast about.

Oh, Ethiopian pickpockets are some of the best in the world, they say.

The street crime in Ethiopia, like so many things in this country, is at least one step away from being halfway respectable.

The pizza at 2T across from Peace Corps headquarters, however… well… it ain’t Fifth Quarter, but i got my money's worth.